Light

I have returned
From my hard-chosen journey,
Bone-weary and heart-sore, but oddly satisfied,
To finally confront my empty darkened House.
My ears still ring with laughter
And my heart yearns for those new souls
That taught me to smile again,
In exactly the way a soul should smile.
The way mine once did with such ease.

I am mourning
The loss of a beautiful, brilliant time of healing.
Fumbling in the darkness,
I reach out as I wander like a stranger
In my Home,
Rendered unfamiliar by time
By distance
And by the needfulness of my experiences.

I am overwhelmed by the sense
That I will never again fit
In this past…
Then comes the realization - At once of icy, heart-clawing regret
And the sound of titanium chains shattering:
I never did.

So.
I make some coffee
And think of all the everywheres I have been,
The places I reside,
And for the first time,
The sanctuary I will create for myself
Because I am worthy of such a haven.

Before I know it,
I am moving,
As only I can once my mind has been made,
Strong, and inexorable,
Like the cleansing spring thunderstorm that brings new growth
Out of winter’s decay
When we’ve all despaired it would never come again.
I discard decades of crippling grief for things I lost and will never find again.
Pack away misbegotten doubts born of distrust,
Relinquish the self-imposed loneliness
I hoped would keep me from hurting,
And sweep away these cobwebs I grew to hate on my journey.

At last,
In the echoing emptiness,
I set out a few shining memories,
Both ancient and baby-new,
And calm the impending fear of loss with the joyful promise
Of laughter I know will come.
Without thought, I reach toward the lamp now,
A smile on my lips.
There is light.

© Melanie L. O’Donnell 3/31/10

Introduction

Leto was beloved of Zues, hated by his wife Hera, and the mother of his twin light gods, Artemis and Apollo. Few know of her; she was the daughter of Titans, known as the goddess of the unseen, and swans flocked to shield her at the moment of her children's birth. Cursed of the heavens, she gave birth first to Artemis, Huntress of the Moon, who in turn helped birth her own twin brother, Apollo of the Sun. From the Unseen, we were given Light.

All women are goddesses of the unseen. That does not diminish us, nor give anyone power over us. Many of us spend our days in humble quietude, while more and more of us clamber to sing in the sunlight with our brothers. From the depths our souls, Goddess-given, comes the power of words so great they have shaped all of us, be it one at a time, or as a vast whole. We have our own mysteries, many of them universal. I wish to pay hommage to the singular unseen of our psyche that gives rise to the Light of our collective creativity. I am Leto's Daughter.